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Can it really
be solved in the work place?
I ask participants in my workshops what "conflict" means to them, and
they typically reply:
- Argument; fight; threat; disaster; avoid it at all costs; struggle; power play
After
a reflective pause, some one usually observes how negative these words
are. No wonder many of us share a deep dread of conflict.
Conflict takes many forms in organizations:
- People in leadership teams fighting for turf rather than for what's best for the organization.
- Partners in businesses struggling to be right rather than to understand the concerns of their partner.
- Managers of functions pressing for their advantage rather than for what serves the customer best.
- Individual contributors giving up on good ideas rather than risk disapproval from peers and managers.
Somebody
gains from these situations, at least in the short term, but usually everyone
loses in the end. Often clients come to me when the struggle for advantage
has at last exhausted them, and the business wins everyone wants seem
to be slipping further and further away.
How do we escape this bind? One way out is mediation, where all parties
agree to speak with each other, guided by an objective third party, in
the hopes of reaching a mutually acceptable conclusion. Although sometimes
painful, mediation is a voluntary process. Participants must come to it
freely, convinced it is preferable to the alternatives.
I view the early stages of mediation as a healing process. I establish
what ground rules are necessary to create a safe environment. I coach
participants on how to give and receive feedback in an assertive way.
I help all parties define the issues they want most to talk about. Then
the real work begins.speaking, listening, coming to terms.
With two managers, it meant a chance to speak, be heard, and reach some
operating agreements for a peaceful detente. With two feuding partners,
it meant a time away from their lawyers, and business consultants, to
rediscover what they really wanted.
Because we so dread conflicts, clients often call when it is really too
late to do much more than help people move on. Mediation can be more,
an innovative way to help people find new ways of working together with
respect.
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